Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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