Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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