Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
