it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
