I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
