I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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