I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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