If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
