I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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