they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
