i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
