you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
