I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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