The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
