so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
