I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
