I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
