well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
