Sponge bath it is.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
