Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
