how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
