i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
