Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
