how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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