I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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