Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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