seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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