the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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