So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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