they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
