i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
