i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
