Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
