Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
