Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
