we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
