Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
