Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
