What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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