I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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