Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize