it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
