Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
