I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize