I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
