ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
