You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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