i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
