repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I will be naked everywhere
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
