when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
