thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
