We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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