With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
