but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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