Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize