I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i will never coherently bang her
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
