take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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