It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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