Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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