Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
