1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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