Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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