So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
