She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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