Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
